


half dust, half deity

by sexy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mythology, Light Angst, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Reincarnation, this is my lame excuse for the kageyama harem agenda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:42:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26125186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sexy/pseuds/sexy
Summary: Tobio learns to defy the gods and leave like they'd never been left before.
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio/Kunimi Akira
Comments: 8
Kudos: 70





	half dust, half deity

**Author's Note:**

> this piece is heavily inspired and influenced by rick riordan’s version of calypso. i’m in love with her tbh

**_I was the only one watching myself fall apart;_ **

**_that’s how I became the only one putting myself back together._ **

**_–_ ** _ Orion Carloto _

  
  
  
  


_ You shall be banished to the island of Ogygia. Your being will be chained to its very core. Your sole destiny to be an aid to wounded heroes, a safe haven to beautiful voyagers. Love arrives with the fallen, but to stay is duly impossible. For weeping and desolation is what we bestow, and for all eternity shall you part with bitter sorrow. _

You come wounded and desperate to the island of Ogygia, to be nursed by the lone nymph inhabiting it. A month here is a day for the mundane, a year merely a week and some more.

On a normal day, Tobio would typically tend to their garden, read a book, cook a meal, and among other things, sit on the shore with bare feet sinking into the sand; watching and waiting. A simple routine. Easy to maintain, easy to break.

Lonesomeness is a funny thing some may easily become accustomed to, but the feeling slips away just as fast. For Tobio, a year or ten all alone would be just fine.

But then comes a beautiful stranger. And soon enough, they have to get used to loneliness once more.

Some call it a curse. Others, a cycle. For Tobio, it’s a life they have to keep getting used to.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Birds chirping.

Waves crashing.

Wind blowing.

Leaves swaying.

It is easier to tell when guests are coming now. The insistent ring of the crashing waves become louder in the Inhabitant’s ears. Focusing on a task is more difficult. Thoughts go astray just as quickly as it arrives.

A black-haired boy dripping with water walks aimlessly along the shore.

The Inhabitant had come to learn that visitors always appear somewhere near the water. The ocean is a friend, carefully bringing company to the island for the Inhabitant.

The boy wears a stoic expression on his face.  _ He is beautiful _ , the Inhabitant thinks.

All of them are.

He reminds the Inhabitant of someone. The boy elicits a melancholic feeling within them. Something aches, but the Inhabitant isn’t sure where.

The boy turns and notices their watchful gaze.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ 1972. _

Atsumu, the golden boy handpicked by the gods.

Tobio was busy flying a fox colored dual-line kite when they saw a figure in the near distance washed up on the shore. Setting the kite down, they walked up to the still figure of a blond haired boy lying motionless on his stomach, breathing steadily. He was dressed in a big white henley and brown khaki shorts, looking utterly serene and beautiful. Tobio felt as if waking him from his slumber would be committing a grave sin, like getting in the way of the goddess of power and might. Too strong with hungry eyes of willpower.

Tobio slowly brought a hand to the boy’s face, gently brushing his wet hair away. But as they saw crimson soaking the sand around the boy’s torso, all thoughts of admiration slipped away at once; nurturing instincts had taken over their mind like a force to be reckoned with.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


They soon learn that the mysterious boy is a little quiet. Dismissive. Prefers to be left with his thoughts. The Inhabitant is not used to this. They cannot imagine at all how this would go. It is strange to think of falling in love with someone they do not feel an ounce of chemistry with. 

The Inhabitant watches the boy with confusion. Akira, is what he introduced himself as.

Akira is not hurt. He had already been examined for any possible injuries.

No sign of internal or external wounds, no nurturing instincts kicking in.

The Inhabitant looks up at the sky.  _ Why is he here, then?  _ This has never happened before.

They curse the gods above.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ 1587. _

Koushi, the lost prince.

Tobio wished being left wasn’t a part of their punishment. Letting go was easy, because they had to, but being left alone and abandoned, no matter how many times it happened, had always left a scar too deep.

_ If I weren’t fated to be abandoned, would things be different? _

They looked at Prince Koushi intently.

“I was once blind,” Prince Koushi started to share, filling the comfortable silence. He was sitting beside Tobio, head perched on their shoulder. “I am sure you’ve heard of Medusa, yes? And her son?”

Tobio nodded silently, eyes looking at the far distance, trying not to relish the feeling of the prince’s hair tickling their face.

They had heard countless stories of Medusa’s son before. The island of Ogygia may be out of touch with the rest of the world, but news would come regularly. The gods had pitied Tobio’s loneliness and would send messengers and servants sporadically.

“I was on a journey to find him, as I heard blood from the right side of a gorgon’s body could cure anything.”

Tobio hummed in assurance. “I’ve been gifted vials of it once or twice.”

“I did find him eventually. Hence, the state of my vision today,” the prince sighed, tears dripping onto Tobio’s tunic. “But I was forced back home.”

Tobio understood. Love is a game you cannot always win. It is one thing to fall in love and have your heart broken a few times in your lifetime, another to play an endless game of love lost. They looked at Prince Koushi with the same longingness mirrored on his face.

This was always the hardest part.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The Inhabitant is used to Akira’s presence. The two fell into an easy routine as the days passed by. 

Akira doesn’t ask too many questions. He watches, observes, and at times, banters with the Inhabitant.

It infuriates the Inhabitant to their core.

But through and through, just as the gods cursed them, the Inhabitant slowly sinks. Different from the feeling of falling in love, the Inhabitant sinks, like water filling a hole in a boat, or your lungs when you are drowning at sea.

They are intrigued with the way Akira disdainfully comments on how the Inhabitant makes use of the island and its abundant resources.

_ “There are berries here unknown to man! And all you consume is nectarine coated everythings.” _

They find it amusing whenever Akira huffs in frustration when the Inhabitant leaves him in the dark about certain things. The less he knows, the easier parting will be.

They especially like the way Akira’s mouth curls up, and the small dimple that shows when he is concentrating on reading a book from the Inhabitant’s library. A small habit that seems too familiar.

The Inhabitant brushes the thought away.

These things only hurt more as the heart grows fonder.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ 1960. _

Kei, the boy made of moon dust.

Shouyou, the sun god, came to visit that day. He was the Inhabitant’s dear friend, bringing them books among other things from the world they were banished from.

The Inhabitant held Kei’s hand, who was conversing animatedly with the sun god walking alongside them on the shore.

“You know, Kei, you remind me of my sister,” Shouyou giggled, skipping and kicking the rocks scattered on the sand.

Kei smiled to himself, side-eyeing the Inhabitant before turning to look back to Shouyou. “Your sister?”

Shouyou barked out a laugh. He was so bright and full of energy. “Yeah! Natsu! We’re total opposites,” he laughed again, shining even brighter. Always a sight to see.

“Why do I remind you of her?”

“You have this magnetic energy! And you’re so…” Shouyou frowned, thinking hard. “You have this kind of soft glow, you know? Like the moon!” he jumped high, excited to have remembered what he wanted to say, looking almost as if he were floating. “Don’t you agree, Tobio?”

Kei looked at the Inhabitant expectantly. “Tobio?”

The Inhabitant—Tobio—glared at Shouyou. The sun god ducked behind Kei, afraid. Most people wouldn’t believe it if you told them that the sun god was afraid of a sea nymph’s glare.

“I agree, though,” they turned their attention to Kei with a warm smile. “You pull me in.”

Kei’s cheeks turned pink. Shouyou scrunched his nose at the sweetness before duly announcing his departure.

“Don’t be weird the next time I come ‘round again, okay?”

Only Kei laughed.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Akira stares before speaking up. He always seems to do so, which sparks annoyance within the Inhabitant.

“Cut the crap, ‘Inhabitant’” he taunts, bringing fingers up to mimic quotation marks. “That's not really your name, is it?” he stands up, the air around him challenging.

The corners of their mouth curl upwards with a cheeky grin. "Of course not.”

Akira walks towards them, closing the distance between his mouth and the Inhabitant’s ear. “Tell me your name.”

Without moving, the Inhabitant replies automatedly. "It would be easier if you people left this island without knowing."

Akira’s breath tickles their ear. "Maybe. But where's the fun in that?"

They turn their head slightly, face inches apart from Akira’s. They look at Akira’s lips, and as if in a trance, whispers softly. “It’s Tobio.”

The results remain the same each time anyway.

Akira swipes his tongue across his bottom lip, gazing at Tobio’s with a gleam in his eye. “Tobio.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ 2004. _

Tooru, the boy dreams are made of.

“What are you painting?” Tooru asked, wrapping his arms around Tobio and peeking from their shoulder. The nymph giggled at the touch, laughter light and full.

“Doesn’t it look like you?” they turned around, planting a kiss on Tooru’s nose. The boy smiled. He stepped back and squinted, as if carefully analyzing the painting.

“Do I look like an alien to you?” he poked at Tobio’s sides, eyes crinkling with delight. Tobio laughed and ran, attempting to escape. Tooru followed.

“What’s it for, anyway?”

Ah.

Tobio instantly slowed as the thought popped into their head, startling Tooru. “To keep me company. And to make sure I don’t forget your face,” he said softly, reaching out to hold Tooru’s hand.

Tooru opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

Parting is not a sweet sorrow. It is the embodiment of all Tobio’s worries and fears. The worst part is that it’s something they cannot prevent from happening.

“I’m sorry,” Tooru managed to say, fiddling with their intertwined hands.

It will always happen eventually. Tooru would leave before morning, back to his family, his life, and Tobio would remain a distant memory. A what if.

Ogygia is a place you cannot return to once you leave.

“It’s fine.”

Tobio had always been a what-if.

_ What if you stayed? _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


When Akira’s lips pull away, Tobio tries to catch them once more, hunger taking over their mind. The boy dodges it, grabbing their face and touching their foreheads together.

It’s funny what happens eventually when two people have no one else but each other.

Tobio whines and Akira laughs at the sound. He takes their hand, placing soft kisses on each fingertip before sitting up to lean on the headboard.

“Let’s talk first,” the warm orange sunset seeps into the room and casts a soft glow onto Akira’s face. His hair is swept to the side and he looks at Tobio firmly. “About you.”

“What about me?” Tobio muses.

“Your story.”

“I was wondering the same about you.”

Akira feels too familiar. After months of being with him, Tobio was sure of it. Akira looks at them with a calculating stare, as if he were thinking of what to make of the situation.

“Okay,” he starts, pulling at Tobio’s arm to gain their full attention. “Tell me about you first.”

This is usually the part where everything turns south.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ 1260 _ .

It’s funny what love in the shape of a black-haired boy does to you.

Tobio was on the shore, busy collecting coffee bean seashells for their Sungka set, a game of count and capture. It was then that another nereid shrieked, duly calling their attention.

“A boy has washed up by the far end! He is badly wounded,” the nereid flailed her arms wildly, eyes big with alarm.

“Is he breathing?”

The nereid shook her head. Tobio ran as fast as they could.

  
  
  
  


_ 1261. _

A year had passed. The same boy who washed up on the shore had healed, though he remained due to lost memory. He could not remember his name, nor his family.

Tobio was in love. The boy loved him, too. They were happy on the island together. Everything was perfect.

Until it wasn’t.

“I remember faces. I do not know who they are,” the boy gripped onto his hair like a madman. He had been dreaming lately; of people and faces and voices. Tobio knew the boy’s heart ached.

Tobio cooed, taking the boy into their arms. “It’s going to be okay, my love.”

“How?” the boy sank into Tobio’s embrace, sobbing and shaking quietly.

Tobio’s healing abilities had its limits. But a special gift was given not long ago, tucked away for a wound the nymph couldn’t heal.

“Gorgon’s blood,” they whispered, rubbing circles on the boy’s back. “It can heal anything. Restore anything.”

The boy looked up to look at them, eyes burning with an emotion Tobio wasn’t sure what to make of. “Why did you keep this from me?”

Tobio swallowed. “You seem happy. I did not think you longed for your memories so badly.”

This was not the real answer.

  
  
  
  


_ 1262. _

Sato was his name. After regaining memory of his family, friends, and his lost beloved, he longed to be with the people and the life he had left behind.

“If you stay with me, I can promise you forever,” Tobio pleaded, desperately trying to hold on to the sliver of want Sato had left to stay.

“Can you not come with me? You can be part of my family.”

Tobio looked at him with shock. Not once had they considered this, and for a good reason. “If I go, I would have to watch you pass one day, and I cannot bear to do such thing,” they kneel to the ground, holding onto Sato’s hands and begging him to stay. “Please, if you stay, we can be together. Forever.”

The boy shook his head sadly, tears brimming his eyes. “What is immortality when I cannot be with those whom I love?”

“Am I not that of whom you love?”

“I do, I love you,” Tobio’s eyes gleamed with hope upon hearing the words. “But I long to return, and you cannot beg for the kind of love I cannot give.”

Tobio didn’t understand what those words meant.

  
  
  
  


_ 1268. _

It was then everything fell apart. Tobio had selfishly kept the boy he loved captive all those years, refusing to let him go.

It’s crazy how versions of love can drive you to the edge of sacrifice or to the brink of greed.

Sato had called for the gods to hear him. How, Tobio was unsure of. But just like that, they were forced to bid farewell. Cursed to live and love and let go.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“When I close my eyes and try to memorize your face with my hands,” Akira whispers, eyelids shut with a thumb grazing over Tobio’s face. The nymph kisses his finger gently. “I feel as though I already know what it would feel like before I even touch it.”

Tobio looks at Akira then and winces. For a split second, he looked like the boy from long ago, and a piercing feeling enters their chest; like an arrow that isn’t really there. In that moment, they weep, and Akira opens his eyes with worry.

“You should leave,” Tobio barely manages to say through choked sobs and wet eyes.

Akira had no business being here. He came completely fine, no wounds or hurt that needed healing. Yet the raft had not yet come.  _ Is this some kind of sick joke?  _ Tobio thinks, knowing that the gods could hear their thoughts.  _ Have I not paid well enough for what I had so selfishly done long ago? _

The gods did not answer. They never do, at least, not to Tobio.

“I want to stay,” Akira cups their face with both hands, voice firm; dripping with honesty and desperation.

_ Love arrives with the fallen, but to stay is duly impossible. _

“Won’t you ask me to stay?” his voice hardens at the lack of response from the crying nymph. “Didn’t you ask the others to?”

Tobio is angry. They are angry with the gods, with Akira, with everything and everyone. Tobio is angry with themself.

If Tobio had not been selfish…

If Tobio had not been greedy…

If Tobio had not been blinded…

If Tobio had not fallen in love…

With the man named after brightness; like stars.

_ Akira _ .

Tobio thinks insanity is about to fall upon him.

_ Sato _ .

Tobio is confused.

“Tobio,” Akira? Sato? calls out.

_ He is whom you long for. He is whom you so desired,  _ the gods finally answer Tobio.

Akira.

His smile is worth more than gold and jewels. A prince that becks and calls, lost and trying to find them. Akira is made of stardust and dreams; he is the love that comes back.

But wouldn’t coming back mean leaving? 

“You should leave,” Tobio croaks out again, voice cracking.

“No.”

_ Why? _

“That is how it goes,” Tobio cries. “Please.”

“Come with me.”

“I can’t.”

“Have you even tried?” Akira yells.

“Do you honestly think I haven’t?!”

Akira cries.  _ He is beautiful. _ “What is a curse when I am with you?”

Tobio swears they’ve heard that line before.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**_This is also part of the story: how the story changes. This is something I forgot to tell you._ **

_ – Richard Siken _

The raft finally arrives. Akira must leave, though this time for without reason. Tobio watches him with sullen eyes, as he steps onto the wooden platform. They hand him a bag filled with food and drink, more than enough for the journey back.

“The raft will take you where you need to go. The ocean is a friend that will guide you home,” Tobio explains for the nth time in their life.

Akira says nothing, but extends his arm towards the nymph.  _ How stubborn. _

“I cannot leave with you.”

Akira remains still, and Tobio is scared. They had done this countless times, and the result had always stayed the same.

Tobio reaches out slowly, hands shaking.

“Just look at me,” Akira locks his eyes on Tobio’s. “Don’t think. Just trust me.”

Tobio’s feet leave the water and sand.

“This is the raft that brought me here. You are the home I was guided to.”

It’s funny what love in the shape of a black-haired boy does to you.


End file.
